Indomitable Spirits

First, for those of you I worried with my last posting, I am better. Yesterday the pain decided to abate and so far walking and even a session of yoga this morning have not brought back any episodes of the groin pain. I also checked out seroma on the Internet—the thing my oncologist suggested this might be. Looks like it’s a collection of fluid that can occur after surgery and usually dissipates over time. I have an appointment with my surgeon on Thursday, by which time I’m hoping I will simply be asking if she thinks that’s what it was, and if there’s anything I might do to avoid getting another one.

The big event to report on is that Phil and I spent Friday through Sunday at the Harmony Hill Cancer Retreat Center—the same place I went to a one-day workshop a few weeks ago. There were 20 people attending, 12 of whom were dealing with cancer and 8 of whom were spouses or friends supporting those with cancer. Phil was also one of several of the support people who had had cancer themselves but their cancer was in remission, or “gone.” We were fortunate that it was a superb weekend of weather, so we enjoyed views of the Olympics the entire time. Here are a couple of shots that show that.



For me, the experience of hearing the other participants’ stories was similar to the one-day workshop. My diagnosis was again the newest in the group, though time does not tell all. The next most recent diagnosis was for a woman who learned in December that she had inoperable and metastasized cancer, and a projected “not that long” to live. Obviously the two of us are in very different places. I was struck again by both the pain, sorrow and loss people are dealing with and their indomitable spirit and will to live, and live well, with laughter and love surrounding them.

There were two significant changes to the experience from last time. The pace of the three days was very measured, which in itself was a learning experience for someone who lives her life at a much faster pace. However, it suited me well given the pain I continued to experience from walking and movement other than sitting and lying down.

The second big change was having Phil with me, and learning more about what he is thinking through his interactions in the group. He did admirably well for someone for whom this kind of experience is way down the list of things he wants to do. Most of our small sessions we participated in as a couple. One of the sessions grouped all the cancer patients and all the caregivers together, so we could each talk about the experience of being in each of those roles, without offending the people in the opposite role. Instructive for me, mostly from listening to the struggles of the cancer patients who were dealing with imminent terminal illness. I tucked away a number of thoughts just in case I need them someday.

Another amazing experience for this compulsive notetaker is that I took very few notes. Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Every once in a while someone would mention a resource that I wanted to capture, but most of the time the stories were the focus. And these I will simply carry with me.

The nitty gritty for this week? I have a line of appointments: UW oncologist on Wednesday, Surgeon Thursday, Group Health oncologist also on Thursday, and MRI on Friday. I can already feel the $20 co-pays rolling out of my pocket! Significantly, though, I have not yet received any kind of bill for all this care (except for my Chinese medicine specialist, who is not covered).

I’ll post more as I learn more.