Exit with a Whimper, not a Bang!

I had expected to have a grand celebration following my last infusion. I did get a small one, as the infusion center staff sent me out the door with a clever song about the end of treatment, sung to “Hit the Road, Jack.” But the patient was not feeling celebratory. My struggle with nausea and diarrhea continued through Monday, and has stayed with me so far this week. In fact, I learned that the vaguely “off” feeling I’d been experiencing, with no appetite for food or much of anything else, is also termed nausea.

The hospital staff gave me a new medication to take for the nausea, which I can’t say appeared to do much, though I dutifully took it for most of the three-day course I was given. It was treatment designed by a masochist…bitter pills that had to be dissolved on the tongue, and took 15 minutes to dissolve. What a nice treat for someone experiencing nausea!

Somehow I got myself and our trip goodies packed, and we bundled ourselves into the car on Tuesday morning to head south. After some bad weather Monday that had tied the Portland freeway in knots, on Tuesday we were fortunate to get a sunny day and good roads most of the way to Eugene, our first stop. From there we stayed on I5, rather than going to the coast, because we had a snow storm about 12 hours behind us and figured the quicker way was better. On Wednesday we got over the Siskiyou’s with dry pavement and sun most of the way, and on Thursday we landed safely with friends in Tiburon, so one more trip south made safely!

I shared in some of the driving, but mostly just nursed my poor body along, trying to doze when I could and stuff a bit of food into it periodically. Everything tastes a bit like straw, so that’s much easier said than done. Not feeling well is unfortunately a very self-centered activity—and I’m quite tired of focusing on me. I haven’t exercised or done much of anything for the past week. I’m more than ready for this to pass. I also don’t know if it’s related, but the onset of these current symptoms occurred just after I ran out of my Chinese medicines—and unfortunately the replacement batch did not arrive before I left for California (the herbs are ordered out of San Francisco). If it’s more than a coincidence, I certainly have a lot more appreciation for what they’ve done for me!

So knowing that it will pass is the only thing that pulls me forward. No more nasty chemicals will be dumped into me, so sometime in the next week this should begin to let up. I’ll post again when I can see the light emerging.